For my unborn children / Stuff I write

A beautiful way of looking at difficulties

This life is a test

Everyone in this world has their share of difficulty in life. God gives us difficulties according to what we can take. And only Allah knows the strength of people. The man who digs through the trash to look for things to sell may look weak at first glance, but if you pay close attention and look deeper, you will see the strength in him. Everytime I see him I think to myself, if I was tested with poverty like him, will I be able to even put my hand in the garbage dump? It cannot enter my head that I would do such a thing. I honestly don’t know what I’d do.

I wonder what it must’ve felt like for him on that first time. That very first time he put his bare hands in the trash, subhanAllah. What drove him to that extent? I’m preety sure he didn’t grow up doing that.

I have a philosophy that there really is no measurement for strength because the factors to determine it is not fixed. It is measured at an individual level and it is measured by how close you are to Allah in times of difficulty – the further you are, the weaker you are and the closer you are, the stronger you are.

Maybe if I was put in his situation, I would not be able to cope. And maybe if he was tested with what I have, he would not be able to cope. But in pure Wisdom, Allah gave us both tests that He knew we could handle.

I am so confident about parenthood. I know that I won’t produce average children. I know what I want to instill in them. I know that just as I will leave a legacy in this world, my children will do the same because that is the education that I will give them.

But what I know doesn’t matter. Because only Allah, the All Knower, knows. He is able to see things from above, he knows what will happen in the future and I do not. I am just an ambitious servant of Allah and I surrender myself to His will.

Allah created women to be mothers and to reproduce and that is her main role in life. Because of that, I feel incomplete. But incompleteness is a fact of life. Everyone is incomplete in one way or another – it’s just another way of saying ‘nobody is perfect’.

Some don’t have wealth, some don’t have eyes, some can’t walk, some don’t have health, some don’t have a memory, some people can’t speak, some people don’t even have sanity and some people just don’t have a uterus…

But that’s just life. ‘Difficulty’ is just part and parcel of it. It really isn’t difficulty, it’s just….your test. Unlike school, everyone has a different test paper for the Life Test. And my paper is the No Uterus paper.

Alhamdulillah for Allah allowing me to understand it this way. To understand that I am not human if I was perfect. I always feel like, if perfection means I am suppose to have 10 things in life, the only thing missing is 1. I have everything that Allah knows is right for me. And I am grateful for it.

The love I have for You is only known to You
I ask You that You help me love You more and more
And for my love for You to be eternal and absolute
By seperating me from my sins like You seperate the East and the West
And to cleanse me of my transgressions as the white cloth is cleansed of stains
O Allah, wash away my sins ♥

Written by a servant of Allah who wishes to remain anonymous.

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